Mama India, Wandering Child

not interested in sleeping.

Arun at 3 months

We recently started to have some problems getting Arun to sleep.  I know this is a journey that all parents have to go through and yes, many have it much worse.  I know parents of three year olds who still wake up three or four times to nurse their baby back to sleep. 

Not us.. we thought we had overcome all of that.  Upon our return from India Arun seemed to have a major developmental leap.  At 15 months he started to walk, to talk and to finally sleep through the night on most nights.  We were able to move him into his own bedroom where eventually we just kissed him good night and he chatted to himself for a few minutes before falling into a long and deep sleep.  I felt very proud of this, like we had overcome a major hurdle of parenting.  I think I even bragged a little.

But no more- he simply does not want to sleep.  It all started about a month ago when he figured out how to open his bedroom door.  Since that day he will not stay in his room if we leave.  He will run in and out of his room, giggling and calling for us until we eventually give in and come into his room, lay him down and lie perfectly still until after at least an hour of squirming, baby yoga and other stalling techniques he finally succumbs to utter exhaustion.  This is repeated at both nap and bedtimes.  All three of us are losing sleep and losing patience.

When I try to coax him into just lying down and going to sleep, he tells me 'I am not interested in sleeping'! This, coming from a 22 month old, would be quite funny if we weren't all so tired. 

How does your child go to sleep?

An Interview with Travelin’ Mama Madelon Galland (Part 2)

Here is the second half of last weeks interview with my friend and fellow traveling mama Madelon Galland...

©Madelon Galland

R:  What has been the most difficult part of traveling with Clovis?

M: Giving up my preferences, my personal interests and trying to focus on making it a family trip has been the biggest change for me. When I put my kid first its fine, but if I have an agenda of my own it always gets complicated.  As it wasn’t until I was 40 that I became a mother, I had gotten very attached to my autonomy and am having to learn the art of compromise and surrender at a whole new level.   

Also the unforeseen stress of exposure to pollution, noise (piercing loudspeakers, air horns and fireworks aka “crackers”), crowds, and the rare truck wafting clouds of insecticide were always disconcerting and guilt provoking. But the benefits of our travels with Clovis outweigh any of my grievances. He is still talking about his experiences and friends there.  

 

©Madelon Galland

R:  I put together a list of things to bring on a trip to India with a baby.  What would you add or take out of your pack for travel with an older child?

M: I packed a few of his favorite books, toys, stuffed animals, paints or pencils and paper.  Two hats, full-length cotton pajamas to help protect from mosquitoes at night, good sandals.  I didn’t bring a car seat to India (I have rarely seen seatbelts there so it would be rendered useless), but I carried him mostly in the Ergo carrier to feel him safely against me.  I kept snacks and water always on hand.  We brought the stroller this time but just to give it to an Indian friend who had a new baby.

I did get Clovis his vaccinations before going and have kept them up to date.  I carry children’s hydration salts in the event of diarrhea. As controversial as it is, many diseases do still exist in India that have virtually disappeared in the west.  But I do not take nor give my son malaria meds, which are known to have terrible side effects.  Prevention is our tactic on that front.  

Travel light, you can find almost anything you need once you are there. I always bring a good vegetable peeler, and an absorbent sponge. I carry GSE tablets (grapefruit seed extract, for my own immune support…have never had to take antibiotics there).  I have been carrying with us a bag of Clovis’ favorite baby pasta and a bag of Cheerios…just to have a couple happy and familiar foods on hand to whip up.

  ©Madelon Galland

R:  Does Clovis like being in India? How does he adjust to being back in France?

M: He loves being in India and the high regard he is met with by people of all ages.  Although this time, he started getting sick of people touching his cheeks (it didn’t bother him before).  Clovis has already started using a computer… we went from 3 obsessed computer addicts holed up in our house in winter, to barefoot in India with no computer and it was great! Cold turkey.  It was a non-issue.  I am afraid that older kids would have a more difficult time adjusting as they have more attachments.  Clovis is still living in the moment and can make an adventure out of our simple morning walk to buy milk.   Our return was met with excitement and he seemed to discover all of his old toys all over again. Then we all came down with terrible colds, France was still wintery in late March. It’s been a difficult return to his nursery school where he is intimidated by the children’s indifference. After the warmth he received from children in India, it is a startling contrast.  And being gone for so long throws things off apparently.    

  
©Madelon Galland

R:  Do you think you will continue to travel to India every year with Clovis?

M: I would like to, especially before he is 6, when school will become obligatory. I feel deeply like India is where he is from since he was conceived there. He is so at ease with the sadhus, I am sure he is a little sage.

R:  Is there any other advice you can offer to those who are considering a trip to India with their children?

M:  If you fly before they are two years old, the child flies free (lap child-just a small tax).  I print some digital prints before leaving to give to those photographed in thanks and remembrance. Bring simple gifts to give other children: balls, pens and refill pencils are coveted! I always carry my own water bottle and buy mineral water in 5 liter returnable bottles so as to try not to contribute to the ubiquitous waste of empty one liter bottles that litter India. I also try to carry my own shopping bags for the same reason. 

©Madelon Galland

©Madelon Galland

R:  Can you share a few of your most rewarding experiences?

M: There are endless rewarding experiences and now that Clovis can speak in complete sentences I get to learn about the lasting impressions.  So often he would exclaim, “wow, I have never seen that before!” When Clovis learned how to sit up in Auroville, I was thrilled.  When he said “kissing monkeys” while pointing to the exact place where I had taken a photograph of kissing monkeys the year prior, I was dumbfounded. When he broke out dancing at the evening Aarti, I was charmed.  When he yelled “Ganga” when we arrived at the banks of the holy river, I was blown away. When he said,  “I love you mama”, for the first time, I melted.  And when I discovered he loved fresh peas, just pulled from their sweet casing, I was elated, what a healthy snack! Also I absolutely love how he is attracted to people and makes friends everywhere we go and draws wonderful people into our lives. A complete stranger came up to us in a restaurant and happily handed him a brand new toy bus, and then left.  Sadhus have given him their malas. The smiles he elicits completely light our path now.  I feel so blessed to get to be on this adventure with him.

  ©Madelon Galland

Thank you Madelon!

 

Have you traveled with your child?  If you would like to share your experiences on this blog, please send me an email at rachel@rachelmovitz.com

An Interview with Travelin’ Mama Madelon Galland (Part 1)

I first met Madelon a few years back at the Ranis Garden Art Show.  We were both exhibiting our art at the show, and connected when we realized that we had both lived and studied art in New York City, plus we shared a passion for India.  It seems that our lives have again taken a similar turn- we both met our partners on a trip to India, had a baby and moved overseas to start a family, she in France and me in England.  

Madelon has returned to India every year since Clovis was born in 2007.  I wanted to know more about her experiences traveling with him in India, and hopefully pass on some tips for parents thinking of travel with their children.

  
©Madelon Galland

R:  You have been to India three times with Clovis.  What were the challenges at the different ages?  Does it get easier as he gets older?

M:  When Clovis was five months it was the easiest, as he was breastfed entirely. We enjoyed our favorite Indian foods in restaurants and often the waiters would carry him around so we could eat. He loved the Ergo carrier and was a happy open baby, enjoying the new attention and invitations to be held by people we met and got a good feeling from. I remember being concerned with people wanting to give him candy (he hadn’t even started on solid foods, I would explain). It is so remarkably different than the West!  Clovis drew smiles and funny faces and affectionate cheek touches everywhere we went. If you don’t want people touching your kid, don’t go to India.  People of all ages love children there and regard them as little gods.

 
©Madelon Galland

Mosquitoes were a big concern so I traveled with a baby tent that had an air mattress zipped into the bottom and mesh panels that zipped closed so he could nap safely protected from insects and he couldn’t roll out of ‘bed’.

   

©Madelon Galland

Also I was very concerned about flying with a “lap child” for such a long journey.  But we were able to get a basinet on the flight so he could sleep horizontally and I could have room to have the tray for meals.  Breast-feeding during take off and landing resolved air pressure fluctuations and he traveled like a champ.

Breast-feeding in India was also a concern, but with the salwar kameez and dupata  (contemporary Indian attire for women with kurta, trowsers and shawl) it was very easy to be totally discreet.  

   

©Madelon Galland

At 18 months he was a bit independent and wanted to run around more than I did. We traveled with a collapsible stroller just to have more control over his whereabouts especially in airports. This was a bit cumbersome and we really didn’t use it during the trip, but we were grateful to have it for the long airport waits and transfers. We continued to use the Egro carrier or let him walk.

Now that he was eating solids it was much trickier to enjoy meals and keep him seated.    My concern was that he might put anything in his mouth, or be scooped away by an adoring fan. But from an early age our refrain has been ‘pas la bouche’ (not in the mouth) and he was really good about heeding that advise, luckily. 

The Indians always invite, “come”, “come” to children and once I had turned my back and turned to discover he was following a woman home…so I just joined them, and talked to him about it.  In the West it is taboo to talk to strangers or take candy from a stranger etc, but that mindset is not relevant to India for the most part.  To enjoy India from the get go I had to learn to identify what was my cultural conditioning and see how it was ruining my experience and drop it! “When in Rome, do as the Romans do”, my grandmother used to say …but not until India did I finally grow to respect its relevance. 

We rented a place with a kitchen so that I could cook fresh foods that Clovis would eat.  The beautiful thing is that a vegetable cart came to our door twice a day.  I wash, peel, and or cook everything.  As he was still breastfeeding, I knew that he was getting nutrients and immunities from my milk as well.

©Madelon Galland 

He had outgrown the little tent and so I kept repellant on him and we used a plug in mosquito repellant. We also stayed indoors during the morning and evening hours when the mosquitoes are worst.

When we traveled with Clovis when he was 2 ½ years old, my concerns were still mosquitoes, food, and just keeping track of him now that he can run and is more willful. Finding other children to play with became my objective. When we were in the tourist places like Goa, there were enough options like pasta, pancakes and omelets on the menu to keep Clovis happy. He will not sit for a full meal, so finding a restaurant with space for children to play was a consideration. When we went north, having a kitchen made life easier again in being able to make foods he would like.

He wanted to be carried more often on our shoulders during this trip, I think it was a safe distance from the cheek pinchers and a good vantage point as well… but a bit back breaking as we are feeling our age (and watch out for all those ceiling fans!).

We returned to the same guesthouse where he had begun to establish friends with the neighbors the year before. Now he had a play group every afternoon when the children would return from school, this was fabulous, he LOVES children! It was beautiful to see him play, because where we live in France, there are no children. 

  ©Madelon Galland

R:  How did you get around?  Have you taken any long train journeys?  Can you offer any advice about getting from place to place with a child? 

M: We took rickshaws, busses, taxis, planes, and trains. Luckily he loves transport so he does pretty well as long as there are wheels.  From Pune to Goa we took a sleeper bus. It was my first time on one of those and it was a bit bumpy but peaceful and comfortable.  For the long hauls, sleeping is best! On airplanes I often do laps with Clovis up and down the aisles to deal with his restlessness.  In India, to go from the south to the north, we opted for low cost air tickets, bringing the travel time from 2 days to more like 2 hours. I discovered I could book my own train and plane tickets on my visa card on www.cleartrip.com that was an amazing improvement from previous years.  

  ©Madelon Galland

Check back for the second half of this interview...coming soon!

A Worrying Mama

I think all parents worry about their children, but where do you draw the line between healthy caution and plain old fear?  I consider myself a pretty laid back mother, but I find myself worrying a bit too much. 

For this trip to India, I planned in advance for Arun’s safety as much as possible.  I brought herbal insect repellent, a car seat, bicycle helmet, and an assortment of herbal and allopathic baby meds. I inquired about immunizations at the local health clinic and found out he is too young to get more jabs. When we arrived, a nurse told me that normally healthy children recover fairly quickly from even the scariest sounding diseases like malaria and dengue fever.  So really I have done everything that I could think of to make sure my precious little boy is safe and healthy.

He has been doing great so far. He had a bit of a heat rash in the first few days that has since subsided.  Both Simon and I have had mild colds that he managed to avoid.  The worst thing that has happened is a mosquito or two attacked him in the night, leaving his sensitive skin covered in big red bites.  He doesn’t seem bothered by them at all; in fact, I don’t think he has even noticed them.  

In India, people talk a lot about fate and destiny.  If something is destined to happen, it will happen and one cannot, of course change destiny.  So why worry about things one cannot change?  My answer to this is that perhaps I am destined to be a worrying mama!