Mama India, Wandering Child

A bull cart ride in India.

Lately I have been revisiting the photos that I took last winter in India.  It is amazing how small Arun was, in fact he wasn't even walking or talking.  That certainy didn't stop him from having fun, especially on special occasions like a bull cart ride.  A friend of ours rented the cart for the day and invited us along for the  ride.  What an exciting day we had!

  
Arun makes friends with the driver

ready to leave

we are off!

on the road

traffic

our bull takes a rest

while we stop for chai

birthday girl
stopping for chai

  
 
tikka

the birthday girl and friends

 

 

wanderlust.

The weather has suddenly turned cooler here and it is getting dark just a little earlier each day.  Soon it will be winter here in Oxford and although it remains beautiful, my wandering mind takes my thoughts to India a bit more each day.  As for my eyes, I have spent the morning looking at photographs by Ben Taylor, who I met in India this past winter.  He was traveling with his partner and adorable little boy, Cosmo.  I love the photos that he took on his family trip, it really brings me back to my own India travels with my boys!

 

 
 

To see more of Ben's Photographs, click here

Baby It's Great To Be Back Home

As many of you know, I just got back from a week in the States..ALONE.  This was the first time since Arun's birth that I have been away longer than 24 hours.  When I first planned this trip I was very excited to have a whole week off from all the mundane tasks of caring for a toddler. But a few days before the trip I began to have second thoughts...not only would I be away for several days, we wouldn't even be in the same continent! I began to panick- anything could happen and I would not be there.  As a new mother, this was a very scary thought. But still, in a way, I was looking forward to it.

I have to say, I did have a good time catching up with old friends, eating in cafes and shopping (prices in the States, especially for photo equipment are about 50% less than in England).  But after a couple days I was lonely without my family around.  I missed the morning cuddles, reading stories, and spending long lazy days with my boy.  The flight, which I imagined to be pure bliss without a baby, was, after two mediocre romantic comedies and equally mediocre airplane food,  really just plain boring.  Seeing old friends was great, but i regret that they didn't have a chance to play with Arun, who is now walking and talking.  Last year he when we visited he was a little baby- only six months old. 

On the flight back yesterday, I imagined Arun running into my arms and covering him with kisses...so I was heartbroken when he would not so much as look at me for the first 2 hours of my return.  I tried to pick him up and he cried for daddy.  When came close to him again, he said 'go away mommy'.  Luckily, he eventually came around and now we are as close as ever.  I found a toy yellow NYC taxi that I knew he would love- he is into anything with wheels these days.  That seemed to break the ice and before long he was smiling. 

New York was as fun as always, but it is great to be back (to my new) home in the English countryside.

India Perspectives

I just came across this essay, written by my little sister when she was 17, just after coming back from her first visit to India. She wrote it for a school assignment with the theme 'perspective essay'.

I’m grasping onto the handle of the cab door desperately. I bounce unsteadily with each pothole we hit and curve we round, unrestrained by a seat belt. Gazing out the window it’s clear why: the unpaved road we travel is no wider than our car and the gravel and debris littered along the road take the place of any tar or pavement. The music of my iPOD beats quietly in my ears, but I am so amazed at the images right outside my window that I hardly even notice. A smell of rotten eggs or trash forces me to breathe through my mouth. How is it possible that there is so much extreme poverty here? Bottles, papers, plastics, metals, mounds of waste strewn on the roads, picked at by dogs and rats and cows whose ribs protrude as the thinnest layer of skin surrounds them. And the people– the people living right along side these animals– are just as malnourished, sorting through apple cores, weeds, and animal droppings. I shudder and turn away from the groups of men urinating on the sidewalks in plain sight, right alongside the children walking barefoot and naked in front of shop windows. I run my hands over my new turquoise necklace, the one I bartered down to ten dollars at a sidewalk stand here, and I realize that the workers grasping onto the shaky wooden scaffolding on the buildings ahead are actually no older than my 9 year old sister.

We come a stop light, and a little Indian girls presses her face up to my window, begging and pleading with me to buy her little trinkets. Her face is smudged with dirt and black eyeliner surrounds her teary glazed eyes. I inhale deeply, this child is practically a toddler, and although she cannot see me through the tinted windows of my car I feel her gaze piercing through the door at my Benetton bag, Chanel flats, and baby blue iPOD. Against the urging of my driver, I role down my window and hand her 50 rupees. A dollar to me, a fortune to a girl who will live hand to mouth for the rest of her life.
 
There is small road. Many people fill the sidewalk either sitting, squatting, or walking. This sidewalk is broken and caving in. The wooden buildings are plastered with advertisements and wooden scaffolding surrounds many of them. The scaffolding blows unsteadily in the wind. In front of one shop, women stand in line for bread items, at another people view saris in many different colors. A car makes its way up the road slowly. It has tinted windows and a rusty white exterior. Children run in front of the car and tap on the windows and hood. The children wear rags and scraps of clothing and dirt coats their hands and feet. A man yells, a baby cries, four people on a small motorcycle head up the sidewalk, honking as they go. The air is cool though there is no breeze at this time of day. The air smells of sewage and fried foods, mixing together in an aroma that permeates the buildings and cars. A young girl of 4 approaches the car with toy bicycles and waits as the window rolls down.
My tummy hurts. I didn’t get to have anything to eat yet. I hate days when mom doesn’t let me have food. Walking down the sidewalk I feel the sandy pavement on my bare feet. I walk over to the dirt and draw a big circle with my toes. My hair is really itchy and I can’t stop scratching. Mommy says I shouldn’t scratch because it makes my hair messy, but I see her scratch her hair a lot. I’m wearing my favorite dress today! It has a white heart on it, but it is kind of brown right now because I slept on the ground last night. I also have a black shirt, but I like wearing my dress more. This morning mommy put the black stuff around my eyes to keep the evil spirits away. There are a lot of kids running in the grass this morning and playing catch, I hear them screaming and laughing and wish I could play today. I have to try to sell some toy bicycles though. The bikes are blue with yellow wheels and are very light so I can hold at least five at once! I wish I could have them, but mom says I have to sell them for dinner money. I’ve been out here all morning and I haven’t sold any yet. I walked by the bakery, the dress shop, and a little cafe so far. I like looking in at all the different things they have in there even though I can’t buy them. I saw a pretty pink sari with white sparkles and a smooth shiny scarf in one store, but it was 40 rupees and I don’t have that much money. When I walked by the bakery I wish I could get something because I smelled the yummy sweetness of the flour dough. I breathed in really deeply because I was hungry. 
There is a huge white car driving up. The windows are black like my shirt so there must be someone important inside! Mom says I have to go to every car to sell the bicycles so I walk up to it when it stops at the light. I step on a pebble that sticks into my foot and hurts so I hop on the other one, but then stop because I might fall. I press my fingers up against the cool window and smoosh my face against it. I cannot see anything so maybe there is no one there. Or maybe it’s a king! Or maybe it’s an actor or singer! I am startled as the window slides down making a squeak. There is a girl inside who looks nothing like me! Her skin looks like a ghost and she has lots of spots on her face. She has weird white things and a string coming out of her ears too! She smiles at me and hands me a bill. I step back onto a piece of stone pavement and watch the car pull away. The bill feels crinkly in my hand and I look down. I cannot believe I am holding 50 rupees! I fold it delicately and squeeze it tightly in my right fist. I should run home and show mommy right away!

An Interview with Travelin’ Mama Madelon Galland (Part 2)

Here is the second half of last weeks interview with my friend and fellow traveling mama Madelon Galland...

©Madelon Galland

R:  What has been the most difficult part of traveling with Clovis?

M: Giving up my preferences, my personal interests and trying to focus on making it a family trip has been the biggest change for me. When I put my kid first its fine, but if I have an agenda of my own it always gets complicated.  As it wasn’t until I was 40 that I became a mother, I had gotten very attached to my autonomy and am having to learn the art of compromise and surrender at a whole new level.   

Also the unforeseen stress of exposure to pollution, noise (piercing loudspeakers, air horns and fireworks aka “crackers”), crowds, and the rare truck wafting clouds of insecticide were always disconcerting and guilt provoking. But the benefits of our travels with Clovis outweigh any of my grievances. He is still talking about his experiences and friends there.  

 

©Madelon Galland

R:  I put together a list of things to bring on a trip to India with a baby.  What would you add or take out of your pack for travel with an older child?

M: I packed a few of his favorite books, toys, stuffed animals, paints or pencils and paper.  Two hats, full-length cotton pajamas to help protect from mosquitoes at night, good sandals.  I didn’t bring a car seat to India (I have rarely seen seatbelts there so it would be rendered useless), but I carried him mostly in the Ergo carrier to feel him safely against me.  I kept snacks and water always on hand.  We brought the stroller this time but just to give it to an Indian friend who had a new baby.

I did get Clovis his vaccinations before going and have kept them up to date.  I carry children’s hydration salts in the event of diarrhea. As controversial as it is, many diseases do still exist in India that have virtually disappeared in the west.  But I do not take nor give my son malaria meds, which are known to have terrible side effects.  Prevention is our tactic on that front.  

Travel light, you can find almost anything you need once you are there. I always bring a good vegetable peeler, and an absorbent sponge. I carry GSE tablets (grapefruit seed extract, for my own immune support…have never had to take antibiotics there).  I have been carrying with us a bag of Clovis’ favorite baby pasta and a bag of Cheerios…just to have a couple happy and familiar foods on hand to whip up.

  ©Madelon Galland

R:  Does Clovis like being in India? How does he adjust to being back in France?

M: He loves being in India and the high regard he is met with by people of all ages.  Although this time, he started getting sick of people touching his cheeks (it didn’t bother him before).  Clovis has already started using a computer… we went from 3 obsessed computer addicts holed up in our house in winter, to barefoot in India with no computer and it was great! Cold turkey.  It was a non-issue.  I am afraid that older kids would have a more difficult time adjusting as they have more attachments.  Clovis is still living in the moment and can make an adventure out of our simple morning walk to buy milk.   Our return was met with excitement and he seemed to discover all of his old toys all over again. Then we all came down with terrible colds, France was still wintery in late March. It’s been a difficult return to his nursery school where he is intimidated by the children’s indifference. After the warmth he received from children in India, it is a startling contrast.  And being gone for so long throws things off apparently.    

  
©Madelon Galland

R:  Do you think you will continue to travel to India every year with Clovis?

M: I would like to, especially before he is 6, when school will become obligatory. I feel deeply like India is where he is from since he was conceived there. He is so at ease with the sadhus, I am sure he is a little sage.

R:  Is there any other advice you can offer to those who are considering a trip to India with their children?

M:  If you fly before they are two years old, the child flies free (lap child-just a small tax).  I print some digital prints before leaving to give to those photographed in thanks and remembrance. Bring simple gifts to give other children: balls, pens and refill pencils are coveted! I always carry my own water bottle and buy mineral water in 5 liter returnable bottles so as to try not to contribute to the ubiquitous waste of empty one liter bottles that litter India. I also try to carry my own shopping bags for the same reason. 

©Madelon Galland

©Madelon Galland

R:  Can you share a few of your most rewarding experiences?

M: There are endless rewarding experiences and now that Clovis can speak in complete sentences I get to learn about the lasting impressions.  So often he would exclaim, “wow, I have never seen that before!” When Clovis learned how to sit up in Auroville, I was thrilled.  When he said “kissing monkeys” while pointing to the exact place where I had taken a photograph of kissing monkeys the year prior, I was dumbfounded. When he broke out dancing at the evening Aarti, I was charmed.  When he yelled “Ganga” when we arrived at the banks of the holy river, I was blown away. When he said,  “I love you mama”, for the first time, I melted.  And when I discovered he loved fresh peas, just pulled from their sweet casing, I was elated, what a healthy snack! Also I absolutely love how he is attracted to people and makes friends everywhere we go and draws wonderful people into our lives. A complete stranger came up to us in a restaurant and happily handed him a brand new toy bus, and then left.  Sadhus have given him their malas. The smiles he elicits completely light our path now.  I feel so blessed to get to be on this adventure with him.

  ©Madelon Galland

Thank you Madelon!

 

Have you traveled with your child?  If you would like to share your experiences on this blog, please send me an email at rachel@rachelmovitz.com

An Interview with Travelin’ Mama Madelon Galland (Part 1)

I first met Madelon a few years back at the Ranis Garden Art Show.  We were both exhibiting our art at the show, and connected when we realized that we had both lived and studied art in New York City, plus we shared a passion for India.  It seems that our lives have again taken a similar turn- we both met our partners on a trip to India, had a baby and moved overseas to start a family, she in France and me in England.  

Madelon has returned to India every year since Clovis was born in 2007.  I wanted to know more about her experiences traveling with him in India, and hopefully pass on some tips for parents thinking of travel with their children.

  
©Madelon Galland

R:  You have been to India three times with Clovis.  What were the challenges at the different ages?  Does it get easier as he gets older?

M:  When Clovis was five months it was the easiest, as he was breastfed entirely. We enjoyed our favorite Indian foods in restaurants and often the waiters would carry him around so we could eat. He loved the Ergo carrier and was a happy open baby, enjoying the new attention and invitations to be held by people we met and got a good feeling from. I remember being concerned with people wanting to give him candy (he hadn’t even started on solid foods, I would explain). It is so remarkably different than the West!  Clovis drew smiles and funny faces and affectionate cheek touches everywhere we went. If you don’t want people touching your kid, don’t go to India.  People of all ages love children there and regard them as little gods.

 
©Madelon Galland

Mosquitoes were a big concern so I traveled with a baby tent that had an air mattress zipped into the bottom and mesh panels that zipped closed so he could nap safely protected from insects and he couldn’t roll out of ‘bed’.

   

©Madelon Galland

Also I was very concerned about flying with a “lap child” for such a long journey.  But we were able to get a basinet on the flight so he could sleep horizontally and I could have room to have the tray for meals.  Breast-feeding during take off and landing resolved air pressure fluctuations and he traveled like a champ.

Breast-feeding in India was also a concern, but with the salwar kameez and dupata  (contemporary Indian attire for women with kurta, trowsers and shawl) it was very easy to be totally discreet.  

   

©Madelon Galland

At 18 months he was a bit independent and wanted to run around more than I did. We traveled with a collapsible stroller just to have more control over his whereabouts especially in airports. This was a bit cumbersome and we really didn’t use it during the trip, but we were grateful to have it for the long airport waits and transfers. We continued to use the Egro carrier or let him walk.

Now that he was eating solids it was much trickier to enjoy meals and keep him seated.    My concern was that he might put anything in his mouth, or be scooped away by an adoring fan. But from an early age our refrain has been ‘pas la bouche’ (not in the mouth) and he was really good about heeding that advise, luckily. 

The Indians always invite, “come”, “come” to children and once I had turned my back and turned to discover he was following a woman home…so I just joined them, and talked to him about it.  In the West it is taboo to talk to strangers or take candy from a stranger etc, but that mindset is not relevant to India for the most part.  To enjoy India from the get go I had to learn to identify what was my cultural conditioning and see how it was ruining my experience and drop it! “When in Rome, do as the Romans do”, my grandmother used to say …but not until India did I finally grow to respect its relevance. 

We rented a place with a kitchen so that I could cook fresh foods that Clovis would eat.  The beautiful thing is that a vegetable cart came to our door twice a day.  I wash, peel, and or cook everything.  As he was still breastfeeding, I knew that he was getting nutrients and immunities from my milk as well.

©Madelon Galland 

He had outgrown the little tent and so I kept repellant on him and we used a plug in mosquito repellant. We also stayed indoors during the morning and evening hours when the mosquitoes are worst.

When we traveled with Clovis when he was 2 ½ years old, my concerns were still mosquitoes, food, and just keeping track of him now that he can run and is more willful. Finding other children to play with became my objective. When we were in the tourist places like Goa, there were enough options like pasta, pancakes and omelets on the menu to keep Clovis happy. He will not sit for a full meal, so finding a restaurant with space for children to play was a consideration. When we went north, having a kitchen made life easier again in being able to make foods he would like.

He wanted to be carried more often on our shoulders during this trip, I think it was a safe distance from the cheek pinchers and a good vantage point as well… but a bit back breaking as we are feeling our age (and watch out for all those ceiling fans!).

We returned to the same guesthouse where he had begun to establish friends with the neighbors the year before. Now he had a play group every afternoon when the children would return from school, this was fabulous, he LOVES children! It was beautiful to see him play, because where we live in France, there are no children. 

  ©Madelon Galland

R:  How did you get around?  Have you taken any long train journeys?  Can you offer any advice about getting from place to place with a child? 

M: We took rickshaws, busses, taxis, planes, and trains. Luckily he loves transport so he does pretty well as long as there are wheels.  From Pune to Goa we took a sleeper bus. It was my first time on one of those and it was a bit bumpy but peaceful and comfortable.  For the long hauls, sleeping is best! On airplanes I often do laps with Clovis up and down the aisles to deal with his restlessness.  In India, to go from the south to the north, we opted for low cost air tickets, bringing the travel time from 2 days to more like 2 hours. I discovered I could book my own train and plane tickets on my visa card on www.cleartrip.com that was an amazing improvement from previous years.  

  ©Madelon Galland

Check back for the second half of this interview...coming soon!

Auroville and Living in India

Simon and I often dream about living in India year round.  We both love India and have returned year after year.  But living there full time raises some issues.  First of all, foreigners are usually only granted a six month visa.  Now visa restrictions are making it more difficult to re-enter after the visa has expired. Second, what would we do for work?  We have to have some way of making a living. Plus, we worry about Arun.  On our recent visit, he was showered with attention.  People stared, pinched his cheeks, offered him sweets and generally made a big fuss about him.  This is fine as we were just visiting, but we both feel that we want him to grow up with peers who speak the same language as him and have a similar culture.

   

Matrimandir, courtesy Auroville.org

Among a couple possibilities, we became interested in Auroville, an experimental township in Tamil Nadu, just a couple of hours from our home away from home, Tiruvannamalai. Auroville was established in 1968 by Mirra Alfassa (aka ‘The Mother’) and Sri Aurobindo as a universal city where people of all nations could live in ‘human unity’.  Now there are over 2000 residents from 45 counties, about 1/3 from India.  The township is divided up into communities, each with a different focus, from creative arts to organic farming.  The community is quite self sufficient- they run their own schools, restaurants, cafes, guesthouses and a number of shops including a grocery store, a couple of clothing shops, bookstores and a bakery. 

  Film Exhibition at Kala Kendra ©Ireno Guerci

Children on the Beach ©Ireno Guerci 

Women's Group Courtesy Auroville.org

During our last week in India Arun and I visited our friend, Veronica, an Aurovillian who has been living and working in the community for 8 years.  We stayed with her in her lovely treetop apartment in the ‘Creativity’ community.  I wanted to learn more about living in Auroville, and staying with a local was the perfect way to do it.  On our first night we went out to dinner at the visitors center, where we had a yummy Spanish meal cooked by a group of Spanish and Latin American Aurovillians.  Later, there was Spanish dancing and guitar, although we left early to put Arun to sleep.  Just about every night there is something to do- from theatre productions, to dances, to art exhibitions.  I was impressed by the number of children from all over the world- Arun played with children from India, France and Holland one evening at the local playground.  I hear that it is an amazing place for children to grow up and judging from what I saw, I believe Arun would love it.

Arun and Veronica

So what, you ask, could be more perfect for our traveling family?  There are several obstacles that are keeping us from jumping on the next plane back to India.  First, there is a huge housing shortage in Auroville, so it will probably be tough for a family like us to find adequate housing when we first arrive.  Second, there is a bit of investment- although one is expected to work full time (unpaid) in a project of their choice, you have to pay your living costs for the first year or two until you become a full member of the community.  In India, this is relatively cheap, but still a bit more than we have in savings.  As a member, basically all services are free, so theoretically we could get housing, basic clothing, medical service and schooling for Arun.  We would receive a small stipend, which we could live off in India, but it would not be enough for any luxuries or tickets back home to visit family.  Maybe the biggest reason for me is the climate. November through February are pleasant months, but the rest of the year is simply too hot.

It all sounds like lots of fun, and I am curious about going there for a few months to check it out…what do you think?

Read more about Auroville at www.auroville.org

 

Project Dharavi

One of my most lasting impressions of India was upon my arrival in the country on my first visit.  I  landed in Mumbai in the middle of the night and took a taxi from the airport to my hotel in Colaba. I remember that I could both smell and see the air as a thick fog of pollution hangs over the city.  I remember people sleeping by the roadside and the taxi swerving to avoid hitting the cows and dogs who had wandered into the street.  But mostly, I remember the slums.  We drove past miles of shacks on the side of the road.  It was quite an awakening for me.  It was the first time that I had seen poverty on this scale.  Later, I was told that we drove by the largest slum in Asia.

I heard about the slum again when I visited my friend,  the photographer Sudharak Olwe.  Sudharak is a fantastic social documentary photographer who has devoted his work to documenting the underprivileged people of Mumbai. I was lucky enough to work with him a bit on one of his projects, Photography Promotion Trust.  PPT was formed to  promote documentary photography for social change.  At the time the trust was leading photography classes for underprivileged children.  Sudharak asked me if I would like to teach a course in the slum.  Although I did get to work with him a bit on promoting the trust, I regret that I didn't teach that course.

Now he and several other photographers, writers and painters have formed Project Dhavari, its mission to document a massive restructuring of the slum.  The city plans to tear down the current structures and replace them with high rise buildings:

'Sprawled across the centre of Mumbai, India, Dharavi is a slum, a community, an industrial centre and the site of one of the greatest redevelopment programmes in the world. Home to approximately a million people, and the workplace of many more, Dharavi is one of India’s largest industrial hubs of recycling and leather goods, with an economy worth nearly $700 million before last year’s downturn. With 60 neighbourhoods within a 550 acre area, Dharavi is a city within a megopolis; with its own pattern of building, economic activity, labour markets and community. Dharavi's innumerable shops, and factories support not just the migrant labourers they employ, but also their families, who wait in far flung villages for the monthly allowances sent to them....The Dharavi of our popular imagination will be razed and new structures will emerge in the same space: residential high rises, designated commercial units, civic amenities and new utilities. But residents are apprehensive, and with reason: the DRP will change not just the way Dharavi looks, but also how Dharavi functions. For better or worse, change is coming to Dharavi and nothing will ever be the same.'

As I have mentioned before, I took a bit of time off to stay home with Arun, but now I am looking for a new photography project. Project Dhavari  has really captured my imagination and I would love to take part in it.  The question is, how can I continue to be a full time mom to Arun and fly over to Mumbai to work on this project?  Any Ideas?

In the mean time, I will leave you with a few photographs of the project so far.  You can see more at:

http://projectdharavi.blogspot.com/

Photo by Deepak Turbhekar

Photo by Deepak Turbhekar

Photo by Ravi Shekhar

Photo by Sudharak Olwe

Photo by Sudharak Olwe

Photo by Vishal Olwe

Photo by Anuja Gupta

Ranis Garden Art Show

Well, we are back in England...it is really cold here and still taking a bit to get used to being back.  So it was lovely to look at some photos from the last couple of weeks in India to bring some warmth in.  Here are some photos from Ranis Garden Art Show, an annual event where artists and craftspeople can share their artwork.  Its a pretty casual event as you can see- it takes place outside so all the artists hang there work in the trees! 

Joschim makes these amazing musical instruments, including these kalimbas

Arun tries out a flute

Gorgeous photos of Indian faces

Christophe, Ranis Garden owner, sits under a painting

Claudius shares his chai with Arun

Photographer Dev Gogoi and his photos

Jarmo and Arun

Monsoon Rains and Planting Rice

Late monsoon rains bring damp cool days, which are peaceful and quiet compared to the hot, dry sunny days that I am used to.  It feels a bit like winter.  I visited our neighbors in the fields today who are planting rice.  As lovely as it is in this weather, we are hoping for a sunny day on Friday so we can have a birthday party for Arun on the terrace.  Keep your fingers crossed for us!